Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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