You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
