she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize