This is not my ceiling
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
