He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
