let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
