he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
