The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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