Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
