dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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