You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
