i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
