Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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