He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize