As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
