Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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