spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
wow bdsm is so cute
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