This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
FUCK WHALES
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
