I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
