Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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