Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
