i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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