Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
