Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
