I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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