belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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