god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
