It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish I only lived at night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
