I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
