I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just want nice things and good sex
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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