I feel like abortions should bother me more
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
