I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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