You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
