What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
