You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were trust falling into bushes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
