dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
