i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
