You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
