I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
