Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize