wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
