i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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