ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
