and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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