Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
