I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
