You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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