After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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