Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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