She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
