so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
