my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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