do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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