69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
