White coat. Heels.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
