She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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