Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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