That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Say something about gay babies.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
