you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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