Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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