that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
