whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
