You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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