why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
