love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize