do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
