i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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