I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we're making bets on your personal life
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
