shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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