i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
