There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
