Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
