I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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