you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
