Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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