Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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