She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
