why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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