More tranny stories later!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
