in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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