Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
